Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Where Are the Pirates When You Need Them?

People spent good money -- DURING A RECESSION -- to take a cruise with John Mayer. MayerCraft Carrier II (they did this last year too for the love of God!) docked safely yesterday, which makes me question why the pirates don't prey on someone nobody will miss. And given he wrote a new song about a clingy ex-girlfriend that debuted on the cruise, I doubt Jennifer Aniston would have been in the mood to pay a hefty ransom.   But I am looking for some nice white shorts as summer approaches and am tempted to Twitter him to find out the make and model above.

In other vital celebrity news, Mel Gibson's wife wants a divorce.  She clearly has no sense of humor. He had my all-time favorite line of 2006 when he said to an officer of the law: "What do you think you're lookin' at, sweet tits?"  WHO SAYS THAT???

Also, is it at all possible that Ashlee Simpson actually commented on my blog?  Because, if so, my job here on Earth is done. I can meet my maker knowing my true life purpose was fulfilled.  

"Miss Crabby Ass" over and out.


4 comments:

  1. ok, so what Ashlee would have to do a google search for her name and then put list my date or something?
    hmmm?

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  2. The shorts are definitely something else!

    And I am intrigued by your Ashlee "fan" as well. I look forward to more insights from her--and more entertaining Crabby-Ass-ness from you!

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  3. He does have nice legs, at least in that picture. ;)

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