Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Kenny Chesney Gets Lots of Tail

Who knew!  I was in the kitchen pouring coffee when Kenny came on Opes today and by the audience reception I thought Daniel Craig had gone country.  The women were going ape shit. Ladies, he probably weighs a buck ten drenched. Tone it down a notch. Regardless, his cowboy hat adds a good five inches so his diminutive stature is cleverly masked. Opes, how can one interview Kenny with a straight face and not ask about Renee? How?

So Carrie Underwood was also on.  Call me a cheeseball (really, I can take it) but I am obsessed with her song "I Told You So" which is an old Randy Travis song.  Makes me cry.

Darius Rucker aka Hootie of Hootie and The Blowfish was also a guest because now he's posing as a country artist. Okay, let me address the elephant in the room:  Does Darius Rucker know he's black?  I watched the CMA's and the blackest person there was Reba McIntyre whose spray tan machine evidently malfunctioned.  Either way, you can't just become a country artist.  You either are or you aren't and Darius isn't. He's Hootie!  That's pop.  Now get your ass back in the studio with the Blowfish and stop this charade.

SugarLand made an appearance too. Wow is that woman annoying or what? Sheesh. Someone get her a choreographer so she'll stop gyrating to her own white person overbite boogie. Bleh.

Also, Opes looked really tired which makes me concerned that Ali Wentworth's under eye bag problem is catching.   If Gayle gets it we'll know for sure.


  1. you are truly one of the funniest people I've ever read!

  2. Kenny's my fav and I'd be one of those women who went 'ape shit' if I had been on the show today. You ARE funny, though, and I laughed heartily at your words.

  3. See, I couldn't pick Kenny Chesney out of a crowd. And I have to look at that picture and wonder, What the hell? The cowboy hat, the chest hair, the vest. Who wears vests? The bracelet and necklace say "I'm not afraid to accessorize." And the lounging on throw pillows? "My photographer is shooting for a bordello look, but it's ending up more Martha Stewart."

    I'm so glad I can read your blog instead of watching Oprah. What a time saver!

  4. I love your blog. Wishing you would live blog/twitter Oprah for this SAHM's afternoon entertainment. Can no longer watch O. without shouting CURLY! THANKS!

  5. If we can have white rap artist in the world, we can't deny Hootie his dream. I mean, if he wants to be a cowboy, I say let him. Just don't give him a six-shooter and a lasso, because that would just be confusing for him. And we don't want a guy on stage trying to figure out if he should be hog-tying himself or the other members of his band.

  6. Your blog can completely turn my day around. lol