Things That Have Jumped the Shark

I realize the term "jumped the shark" has itself "jumped the shark" but anything that invokes images of Fonzie on water skis in his leather jacket still works for me.  So here are some things I think have jumped the shark.  (This means has passed their peak, are no longer relevant, they suck.)  

Nate Berkus: I know he's cute. Why do all the hetero women feel the need to repeatedly point this out?  HE DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE CUTE. HE'LL NEVER THINK YOU'RE CUTE. HE PLAYS FOR THE OTHER TEAM. GET OVER IT. Cuteness aside, he bores me senseless.  I mean, survive one tsunami and you're forever in with Oprah?  Sheesh.  I guess the guy can decorate but so can five million other people for crying out loud.  BTW, he's on today's Oprah which is why I'm boycotting.  How many times can one man appear on Opes?  

Dr. Oz:  To answer my last question, about a billion.  So tomorrow Dr. Oz is on Opes to talk about that flesh-eating disease which we all lie awake each night thinking about.  Can you imagine what he'll bring for show-and-tell? Good times. I won't be tuning in until Wednesday when Opes talks to a bunch of hookers from the Bunny Ranch. Yowzer.

Dooce.com: Am I the only person who doesn't get this?  Are bodily functions that humorous and fascinating that they deserve their own archive category?  I know the woman checked herself into a psych ward -- and that's somewhat entertaining -- but besides that I don't get it. I, by the way, would LOVE to go to a psych ward for a brief spell. It sounds relaxing and I bet they dispense cool meds I've never even heard of.  Where do I sign up and do they take UnitedHealthcare?

Stephanie Klein's Greek Tragedy: This site has never been funny, but it was fascinating in a voyeuristic sort of way. And then it wasn't.  Watch here where the husband-wife duo discuss going to couples therapy and try to tell me they don't deserve each other and should grow old together so nobody else ever has to date them.  (And yes, I know I have exactly four people who read this blog, including Anonymous who thinks I am a petty person, and the two aforementioned blogs have thousands.  Feel free to point this out but I am aware of that just so you know...)

Having Twins: It was getting to be very run-of-the-mill and then Octomom goes and pulls the eight-at-once card rendering us twin moms a casualty of fertility treatments gone wild.  Even having triplets these days is passe'. Big whoop. Nowadays you need to give birth to identical quintuplets to even have a shot at a reality show.  

Holly Montag and Spencer Pratt: The fact that these two morons even had a shark to jump deeply disturbs me. Even more upsetting is they possibly only jumped it in my very limited world view as I can't seem to get away from the coverage of their second wedding or first real wedding or only wedding or whatever the case may be about which I could only care less about what Nate Berkus will be decorating on Oprah today.  By the way, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I only know Lauren Conrad, whoever the hell she is, doesn't like them.

Showering Every Day: Unless you're single, who are you trying to impress? If you're a SAHM, showering daily says to your husband in no uncertain terms "I have time to shower." Don't give him such satisfaction (of thinking you have time or having a fresh-smelling spouse). I mean, really, what has he done for you lately?  (Speaking of which, Janet Jackson has also jumped the shark but I don't think she deserved her very own paragraph).

Working: With all the bailouts, stimulus checks, extended unemployment benefits and such, working is for suckers.  (Honey, if you're reading this, I'm not talking to you.  Frankly, I don't want you around all day.)  It's gonna take quite a bit of motivation for me to consider going back to work. Like maybe a boss who looks like Daniel Craig or Chuck Wicks.

If you think something has jumped the shark (me, perhaps?) please share. At least then I will know somebody is reading.