The Opes Update: Don't Eat, Live Forever

So, as expected on Tuesday's Oprah Show, Dr. Oz trotted out rat livers and goat hearts and such. Was this man deprived of Show & Tell as a child?  So the gist is you can live to be 180 years old if you stop eating like a normal person.  Calorie-restricting freaks came on via Skype (can Oprah no longer afford to fly guests to Chicago?) to bore us with the trials and tribulations of counting and weighing every calorie. It looks like a real blast. One gal, who seemed light-headedly hungry to me, boasted of eating 1600 calories per day, presumably so she can outlive every human being she knows on Earth.  1600 calories! Per day! I sometimes have 1600 calories before 8 am if I'm having a particularly rough morning with my twins.  I've also been known to drink 1600 calories per day in red wine alone. That said, who wants to live to be 260 years old and not have a Twinkie every now and again?  Sheesh.

So today, we had women who left men for women. So shocking was it that some of these women like women! Not. I could have saved them and their husbands the heartache (and divorce fees) and let them in on their own little secret years ago: they're gay.  Big whoop. However, the most shocking part of the show didn't involve sexuality at all: Oprah was wearing a shirt I own. Not my own personal shirt, of course (that would be a thrill!), but Oprah and I own the same shirt. It's from JCrew (she's been hanging out with Michelle Obama clearly). So that was my main take-away.  I have the same taste as a multi-billionaire. Or at least the same taste as a multi-billionaire's stylist. Yay me.  And Oprah's hair is back curly. She can thank me with cash.