American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Hates Jennifer Aniston

Does Jen not have enough to be despondent about what with Brad and Angelina spawning litters while she resorts to dating a cruise ship performer? And now she has to contend with Brad and Angie getting Academy Award nominations while she was frozen out for her poignant portrayal of  a dog owner in Marley and Me? And their nominations were for for best actor and actress, no less. Not something stupid like Best Directing of a Subtitles-Only Foreign Film or Best Editing and Lighting While Filming in Antarctica that everyone TIVOs over anyway. Never mind they don't have a shot at winning.  To not give Mickey Rourke the Oscar would be like saying, "Mickey, take your goddamn sad-ass face and go hibernate with your mutt for another 20 years" and the Academy doesn't want that on their conscience.  And from Princess to Vogue Underling to Drug Addict?  Of course Anne Hathaway will win.  No female lead got fat or ugly this year to play a part so she doesn't have much competition.  Well, Jen is good at shaking things off.  Nothing another trip to Cabo laying poolside at Joe Francis' place won't fix.

I, by the way, like Jen.  I want to be Jen (under the condition Vince Vaughn takes me back.) And I will stop picking on her the minute she stops romancing Jessica Simpson's ex-boyfriends and staying at the vacation home of jailed Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. Sheesh!  Can she not afford to rent a villa???