There is officially nothing I miss about Alabama now except my family. And I'm only saying that because they read my blog. Well, my family and that chick at the airport wearing a "Friends Don't Let Friends Attend Auburn" t-shirt. What I mean is I don't miss the heat and humidity. The weather in Chicago has been perfect, with enough of a nip in the air to sometimes require a sweater. Reminds me of standing at the bus stop each morning in the fall during junior high wondering how to scam the school nurse into letting me go home sick that day.
Anyway, have I mentioned lately how much I love my children? Because I do. But not enough to want to sleep with them every night. Why do people do that? Let's be clear -- I'm not one to judge. My almost-two-year-olds still drink milk from the bottle, hate most human beings and are so attached to Dora's pal Boots that in a recent episode where he got a "boo-boo" I thought they were going to collapse from grief, which I guess is a strong indication I let them watch too much television.
Despite my love, I want to co-sleep with my children about as much as I want to co-sleep with Danny DeVito every night. Maybe even less. Danny probably doesn't take up as much room. For parents who do that (sleep with their children, not Danny DeVito), don't you want a couple of hours to yourself every night after they go down? At 7:30 pm every night on the dot, I have TWO GLORIOUS BABY-FREE HOURS. More if I could actually stay up past 9:30.
A few times when the girls were sick and needed comforting, I tried laying down with them in bed and they inevitably kept popping their heads up to chat like we were 13-year-olds at a slumber party. They looked at me expectantly like I was supposed to juggle or do something equally amusing to entertain them. By the time they finally fell asleep on me, I stared wide-eyed at the ceiling all night afraid to move or even breathe lest I wake them up. It's a talent to sleep with children on top of you, I learned. One that might come in handy if you want to be one of those guards outside of Buckingham Palace some day.
PS -- Do my kids need a haircut? They will freak the f#@$ out.
PSS -- I know some parents co-sleep due to health issues or past health issues and it's a comfort to just hear them breathing all night. I understand that. Please resist the urge to lambast me.