Does this look like a terrible place to you? First, Forbes named Chicago America's third most miserable city. We were deemed even more miserable than Detroit. Do you have any idea how miserable Detroit is??? Today, I find that Chicago has been named -- again by Forbes -- as the number one most stressed city. Number one. We, apparently, are more stressed out as a combined people than even New York where it costs $1 million to live in a 500 square foot apartment, Detroit where the mayor sex-texted his way to jail and Portland where it rains about 300 days a year. You know what? I'm getting a little tired of the bad press.
Has Steve Forbes or any of his ilk ever BEEN to Chicago? Steve doesn't strike me as the sort prone to relax at a Cubs game with a hotdog and big-ass beer so maybe it's just not his kind of town.
Sure, I'm stressed, but that's because my home has sustained its own mini Hurricane Katrina, I'm living with my parents and two toddlers while my husband gets to vacation in our hometown of Chicago at the fat pad of our well-to-do friends and dine out with abandon as if he has a side gig as a food critic for the Chicago Tribune. OF COURSE I'M STRESSED. But as a whole, I don't think Chicago should rank number one on some ridiculous "stressed out" list compiled by misinformed Forbes reporters. What's with Forbes and lists anyway? The Celebrity Power List, Most Powerful Women, Best Places to Raise Children... How about a list of magazines with the most inane lists? That would be a good one.
I, by the way, met Steve Forbes' less important brother whose name currently escapes me but I believe works for the Forbes franchise. Had I known he had such ill will toward Chicago, I would have veered the discussion away from his ego and toward the virtues of our fine city so as to perhaps negate this bias the Forbes folks seem to have toward it.
So, I ask, Forbes people: WHAT'S UP YOUR ASS AS FAR AS CHICAGO'S CONCERNED???
PS -- Birmingham, Alabama doesn't rank on this stress list. Who could be stressed when you dress your kids in airy poplin one pieces and get to gaze at firemen while your kids gleefully teeter totter?
PSS -- Curious how stressed out Forbes thinks your city is? Click here. New York and LA -- you people are very stressed too. Go take a Xanax or something.