Thursday, September 3, 2009

BAMA Update, Y'all

Is it me or would the world be a better place if the phrase "y'all" was eradicated? Or perhaps its use limited only to those of country music acclaim? An earned right as it were. You have a number one hit on the country music chart? Okay then, you hereby are given the right to say "y'all." All others using this term without the proper credentials will be shot. Not to kill, rather just to scare and perhaps experience slight bleeding. A superficial grazing of the upper arm, for example.

I've heard enough y'all-ing down here to warrant a firing squad. I don't really get the southern accent. Yesterday at the park a woman with a t-shirt reading simply BAMA kept yelling to her son "Bin! Bin! Bin!" Finally, when Bin didn't answer she sternly called "Binjiman!" and I finally realized all along she was calling for Ben. Why name your kid Ben if you are going to call him Bin? For about 30 minutes I was perplexed that a kid was named Bin even more so than the pinstriped blue sleeveless cotton shirt with matching BLOOMERS the child was wearing. He was at least 12 months old -- Bin was walking -- and he was donning BLOOMERS. Is everyone insane around here or am I being featured on that hidden camera show that used to star Allen Funt but I'm sure now stars someone else because Allen Funt is probably deceased?

Also, all the roads here are named after people I've never heard of. Doug Baker Blvd., Hugh Daniel Pkwy, etc. At least in Chicago you know whose road you're driving on. Like Hugh Hefner Way. Sure, he's a pornographer but at least I know who he is.

That said, we're having a good time here. The McWane Science Center for Kids is amazing for toddlers and there is a cute, mainly uninhabited park behind a firehouse. The girls are sliding to their heart's content, and if any of us need resuscitating (which I might feign) we have 20 heroes within about five feet ready to assist.

PS -- Before I get lambasted for making fun of southern accents, might I confess I am guilty of using the term "you guys" which isn't exactly the Queen's English. Okay? Sheesh. Oh, and people are very friendly here. Which I wouldn't be in this sweltering heat.


  1. Oh I wish you got a picture of Bin in bloomers! I just can't picture it. I'm in TX and say y'all (don't worry, you not once offended me, I thought it was funny!) but I don't of any southern Boys in TX wearing bloomers.

    I hope y'all keep finding fun things to do with the kids! :)

  2. The key is to say y'all with a nondescript accent. I was raised in California and Minnesota before moving down south when I was 8. As a result, I say y'all, but with a nondescript accent. It sounds much better when said in a non hick voice, yet carried off in the manner of someone with experience (not the way my midwest family halts through it when they tease me). Also, I'm in Florida, so I don't even know anyone half as southern as an Alabaman.

  3. If I ever say y'all, I say it ironically. Because I'm not southern. And no one in NZ (besides me) says "you guys". Everyone here says "youse". Don't get me started on the vowels. It would be "Bin" in Kiwi English too.

  4. You're even funnier when working out of the southern satellite office of Lulu and Moxley, Inc. I'm permanently stationed in the very slow part of the mid-south and practically need a xanax to get through the grocery store line y'all.