Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Who's Older?

I don't tend to ask strangers questions. It's just not in my nature. At least not since I was single and would sometimes ask a hot guy at a bar if anyone's ever told him he looked like George Costanza just to bring him down a few notches.  

In Chicago, I get some twin questions but nothing like I received recently in Alabama. Everywhere we went first I got asked: "Are they twins?" Then "Who's older?"  Then I would point to LuLu and they'd ask how much older.  "Umm, one minute," I'd reply, and they'd shake their heads while they pondered what to ask next.  Is the "how much older" an odd question or is it me? Does a stranger really care who was born first? I think next time someone asks if they're twins I'll try "Nope, I cloned that one" and point to Moxley. I mean, they're identical. YES THEY'RE TWINS.  Another big one is once they hear the girls are identical is "My sister's best friend's brother growing up was an identical twin" or similar.  "Oh..." I usually reply. WHY WOULD I GIVE A RAT'S ASS THAT YOUR SISTER'S BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER WAS A TWIN??? I am aware other twins exist ya know...

There was a set of identical twins in my sorority. Very nice girls but I never wanted them to talk to me because I couldn't keep them straight so I avoided them at all costs.  I figured ignoring them was better than offending them by mixing them up. As usual, my instincts in college were way off... They probably just thought I was always bombed. And, well, they'd be right.

I guess infertility doesn't run rampant in the south like it does here.  We have four sets of twins on our block alone. So it's really no big whoop in these parts. I didn't like the attention.  It didn't piss me off like it does some twin moms (there's one mom in Moms of Multiples who GOES BALLISTIC over the questions.  Take a valium...) but I just don't like making small talk with strangers.  I wonder at what age the girls will realize people are curious about them, especially being identical.  Perhaps if they get a big head over it, thinking they're special, I can always ask them, "Has anyone ever told you you look like George Costanza?"


  1. I have twin brothers, who look NOTHING alike, and everyone always used to ask, "Are they identical?" Ummm, they don't even look related. OF COURSE they're not identical! Actually, people still sometimes ask that when we're all together. I don't get it.

  2. I use to babysit a set of identical twins. They were argue over who was "the ugly one." There were 4 so, I didn't want to burst there bubble and tell them they were also insulting themselves when they scream "You're the ugly one!"

    Personally, I think the idea of identical twins fascinates people still. Even though with fertility drugs, it is highly likely.

  3. LOL! Well your twins are very beautiful. I don't think I'd ever ask who was older. They're both so adorable, though!

  4. Ah, I had a whole bunch of jokes about infertility and the south pop into my head but I'll refrain. I will say infertility is the new black on the West coast, too. Thank God I look good in black. :)

  5. Are they mirror twins?

  6. Anon: Hmm, I don't know. They don't look exactly alike to me. One weighs a tad more and has a fuller face so I always thought that was their main difference. Now I'll have to Google "mirror twins" and see if I can figure it out. They don't have birth marks on opposite sides or anything like that...

  7. my sister has a set of twins. she is asked quite often,"are they identical?" her twins are a boy and a girl. there are some stupid folks out there.

  8. Here are two options to the retarded questions: a) tell them that you don't know if they're identical or which one is older because you were on crack but now you're 19 days clean, snaps! b) begin right away with gory details of incisions, blood, guts, mucous plugs, meconium...maybe even rub their belly when doing the telling.

    Love the George Castanza line. May I borrow?

  9. Being a Mom of Triplets from the south, we've gotten some really strange questions. I think the funniest thing I've ever heard was a question this lady asked as we were leaving our pediatrician's office. A woman said, "Is them some triples?" I thought my husband and I were going to just die of laughter right on the spot. We can't help but refer to our boys as "THE TRIPLES"!

    Our triplet boys are natural, we didn't take fertility drugs and they don't run in our family. You imagine the shock when we found out we were having 3! Anyway, people always feel the need to ask if we took fertility drugs or if they run in my family.( I developed a habit now of just giving out that information before they can think to ask.)

    Also, I too find it strange when people ask which one is the oldest/youngest - they were born a minute apart! I want to ask, "what does it matter," but I refrain myself. I should also note that I have 2 that are identical....it drives me crazy when people refer to my identicals as twins - there are 3 of them...triplets, not TWINS!

    I enjoyed this post, well all of your post actually... You are hilarious! Thanks for letting me "vent" on your blog! :)

  10. On a side note....the lady that asked us, "Is them some triples?" said it JUST LIKE THAT! Another reason we just died laughing...

  11. For Golden Girl-

    There actually is such a thing as identical boy/girl twins. They come from 1 embryo, but somehow one is a girl and one is a boy. It's VERY rare, but it's possible. I saw it on a Discovery Channel documentary about twins once.

    Lulu and Moxley are adorable and your blog is awesome! Your blog is bookmarked and I look forward to reading your posts.

  12. Those questions crack me up! And I don't know; asking how far apart they were born seems a little intrusive, like asking a stranger whether she had an episiotomy. Never having pushed anyone out of there (I had three C-sections), I don't know what it would be like to do it twice ot what it would be like to have two C-section births at once. But I certainly wouldn't start asking a stranger about the details of her birth!

  13. My girlfriend has identical triplets born naturally (no fertility problems). It's a 1 in 5 million chance. We hear ALL the questions when we go out...our daughters are similar ages and look kind of alike too.

    - Are they real triplets? (no, they are fake. We just pretend.)
    - How can you handle all them? (which one would you send back?)

    And my personal favorite - "better you than me". Well, with that attitude you're right!

  14. I have never asked anyone which of a multiple is older, but I didn't realize it was one of those touchy issues. It doesn't seem that personal to me. Asking if it was natural or the result of infertility treatment does, though.

  15. I don't talk about who was born first if I can help it because I want to avoid the "I am the oldest" arguments as much as possible. I am not sure why people ask, they seem to want to put a label on them, older, younger, outgoing one, shy one ect…

    We get a lot of are they twins? (Yes) Oh, they are so cute (of course)
    So, when I asked my 2 year old daughter what it means to be twins, she thought a minute and said “cute”

    FYI - Fertility treatments do not affect your chances of identical twins, it is completely random who gets identical twins. (I know you know this Lulu/Moxley))

  16. i see someone beat me to my comment; i'm the mom of boy/girl twins, and people ask me all the time if they are identical. i have been know to reply with "no, THAT one has a penis".

    folks don't like that so much.

  17. The George line is awesome.

    Wicked Step Mom: The sad part is I knew IDENTICAL twins in Middle School/High School who used to argue who was hotter...in complete seriousness. They were both asses, so that may have had something to do with it.

    Which one's older? The pretty one. Let them scratch their heads over that.