Monday, November 2, 2009

Marley and Jennifer Aniston


I am not a dog person. I thought the book Marley and Me was the biggest piece of crap I've ever read and the only reason I read it was because I was stuck on a tarmac with nothing else to read except Southwest's in-flight magazine and that SkyMall catalog and even those were riveting in comparison. Having bought it for my mom (who is a dog person) as a birthday gift I was tempted to throw it out and save her the misery. Showing up with no present might have been better than showing up with that present.

So when my husband TIVO'd the movie, I thought he'd gone nuts. He dislikes Jennifer Aniston and seemed to be personally affronted when Owen Wilson tried to take his own life. ("What the hell does that guy have to be upset about?!")

Nevertheless, we sat down to watch it Saturday night. And I bawled my eyes out. AND I'M NOT A DOG PERSON. Anyone who is a dog person I would imagine needs a prescription for Prozac just to get through it.

But here is my bone of contention. (People, there's always a bone of contention.) Is Jennifer Aniston ever not Jennifer Aniston in a movie? Does she ever do accents or novel facial expressions or gestures she doesn't ordinarily do when, say, being interview by Oprah? Don't get me wrong. I love Jennifer Aniston. I want to BE Jennifer Aniston. (I want to BE anyone who's made out with Vince Vaughn.) I mean, she's likable in all of her roles. Because she's, well, her. In her next role, I think they should just call the character she's going to play Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston as Jennifer Aniston.

Oh, sure, she played that depressed wife role in The Good Girl. So she slouched a bit and didn't smile much. Big whoop. Okay, maybe I'll make an exception for Leprechaun. Because if you can pull off hunting down a murderous Irish munchkin with a straight face, anything's possible.

Also, could the makeup people have at least TRIED to make it seem like they aged a bit? Jennifer and Owen looked exactly the same throughout the movie which takes place over like 13 years or something. The only thing aging was the dog. And the kids.

That said, I actually liked this movie. Shoot me.


11 comments:

  1. I want to be Jennifer Anistan too. Actually, I'd be happy if my hair stylist could make my color look like hers.

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  2. team jolie for me. maniston is an awful actress. i have not read the book, but won't see the movie since she is in it. can't stand owen either. did you watch her in the Ferris Bueller TV show? she was horrible and even uglier back then.

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  3. Oh, I'm with Juli! I so want her hair color...

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  4. I almost went bald trying to get her hair color. I'm not kidding. I went in with a photo of her and came out looking like a skunk. Several corrective procedures later, I'd lost about 50 percent of my hair. I wanted to send her the bill(s) plus sue for punitive damages. Because clearly it was her fault.

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  5. My husband and I call that movie the "doggy snuff film." They get you attached to the dog -- only to kill him off.

    Cruel.

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  6. You didn't even take credit for the bone pun. God, that sounds wrong. Bone pun. Say it several times in a row.

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  7. I know! I came home one night, and my husband was all bummed out because he just finished watching Marely and Me. He told me I MUST watch it. I see bits and pieces, but I cannot bring myself to watch the whole thing for that exact reason. And like you, I am not a dog person.

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  8. Oh! And thanks telling me how to add links. It totally worked!!

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  9. I was embarrassed to admit that I really teared up at that movie. And I apologized profusely to my own idiotic dog for not being nice to him more.

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  10. How cosmic - I actually watched this last night for the first time. And, like you, I remarked to my Hubby afterwards (who was down in Mantown far, far away from my movie) with tears streaming down my face that I don't even really LIKE dogs, but damn, what a sad movie.
    And wasn't her name JEN in the movie?
    And whose body remains like that after birthing 3 children? Gimme a break.

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