I'm from the school of thought that you just don't show up unannounced on someone's doorstep. I'm also from the school of thought that if you ring my buzzer during naptime and wake up my children you might get yourself shot. Not in the heart or head or anywhere deadly. Maybe just the foot or groin depending on your sex.When those someones have shown up and rang my buzzer and woken up my children and I come to find out their uninvited visit is in an attempt to convert me to their religious beliefs, I am inclined to ask them for their addresses so I can return the favor around, say, 3:00 am or thereabouts. I also want to ask them what their success rates are with this particular form of outreach. I mean how many people really let them in, chat amicably for a bit and then announce, "You know what! They sounds fanfuckingtastic! Sign me up!" I'm not even sure what religion these people were touting, but if it requires me going door to door as a member the answer is "thank-you-very-much-for-thinking-of-my-salvation-but-I'll-have-to-pass." I say that after I shoot them of course.
Does this happen in the suburbs or only in the city?
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I'm in the suburbs and it happens at my place ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even realize how much until I stayed home for a year.
Usually I'm at least polite, but after months of sleepless nights and FINALLY getting a nap and then they ring the bell, making the dog bark which makes the baby cry? Well, they deserve the half-naked, bed-head, bleary-eyed response they get.
We have the misfortune to living within about 2 miles of both the Jahova's witnesses AND the Mormons, so we get double duty.
it happens in the 'burbs. i have had folks bring me copies of the Watchtower, and others bring me food in hopes i join their church. i even got a frisbee once from one church for my kiddo. i just tell them i'm a pagan and they never return. take care.
ReplyDeleteIt happens in Canada-land too. Sadly, the more you try to throw them off by saying, for instance, you're a devil worshiping alcoholic who enjoys such hobbies as promiscuous, premarital sex and crack cocaine the more they think they will be rewarded upon converting you and you may find them coming back more often, not less and be forced to move. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
ReplyDeleteAnd, for the record, 'popper by's are probably my biggest pet peeve. And I have a lot of pet peeves, so that really says something!
For about 2 years, I had a sign on my door that said:
ReplyDeleteBABIES SLEEPING! Do not ring the bell or knock on the door. Ever. If you have a package, leave it. If you have yard work to do, do it. Do not ring the bell or knock on the door. Ever! Thanks.
The first day my husband came home and saw it posted on the front door, he said he wasn't sure if that meant him too.
I said it did.
It happens all the time in the burbs of Detroit, too! I hide until they are gone, but I think I will do waht 3StinkyBoysAndMe does and put up a sign.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, this is one of my pet peeves. My latest strategy (now that I don't have a sleeping baby) is to TALK to these people. Test out my material on them, if you will. They just can't seem to get away from me fast enough. It works on the phone too.
ReplyDeleteHappens in the burbs.... We live about two miles from a mormon temple. I see them riding their bikes all the time. I frequently contemplate pretending to run them off the road. I don't because I'm not evil.
ReplyDeleteOMG this is my biggest pet peeve ever. Although for me it's a lot more deliveries for my husband for work which bugs just as much thank you
ReplyDeleteDefinitely happened in suburbs for me. I told them that Jesus doesn't love those who wake sleeping babies and they were mortified.
ReplyDeleteHere's my solution. A few months ago, I grabbed about a hundred brochures from our church and started asking them if we could do an "even exchange" of materials. Funny, but it seems like these particular visitors don't like being converted on my front porch. They can't scramble back to their bicycles fast enough.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to college, my lovely younger sister gave the God Squad my address, so I started to get letters from them. I never liked that sister.
ReplyDeleteEvery so often I was visited by them. I lived in the country on a dirt road, so you could see (and hear) a car coming up the 1/2 mile driveway, no problem. Turns out, I don't notice them on their little bikes, so they caught me sunbathing topless whilst enjoying a margarita one summer. They haven't been back for 8 years now. I like to think that there is a warning written about me somewheres :)
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