Saturday, October 31, 2009


John Mayer as (sadly) John Mayer

Happy Halloween. Or not. Ours was such a bust I don't even have an adorable photo of my children to share with you. Oh, they looked adorable alright. When they weren't screaming their heads off. I knew enough to know that my quirky kids would not put on costumes. No way. So I bought them cute little Halloween-themed outfits. Too bad nobody got to see them. There was a party Thursday night in our temporary high-rise building which has a (rather depressing) "party" room. I got them decked out in their new outfits with plastic pumpkins in hand and announced, "Let's go to a party to see some kids!" I said this very enthusiastically thinking my attitude might be catching.

"No party! No party! No kids! Too many kids! WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

I wish they got the "no party" mentality from me. It would have made my college years a whole lot more productive. And some day I might come to appreciate their anti-party stance. Like when I'm paying their college tuition. But right now, when I actually like to socialize with other human beings (if only so I can complain about them later), it's annoying.

Not one to give up that easily when festivities are involved, we dragged them to another event on Halloween day where there was a petting zoo and other things kids are supposed to like. Unfortunately a woman dressed like Cruella De Vil greeted us and shrilly screamed "Twins!" to which they responded by screaming bloody murder which makes me think the girls should show up for a casting call for Halloween 45 or whatever number they are currently filming. We had to leave within two minutes.

There was also a party across the street we were invited to. Maybe they'll be in a better mood when they get up from their nap, I thought hopefully. When they woke up I asked nicely, "Want to go to a party across the street with kids from the neighborhood?"

"No party! No kids! Home! Home! Home!"

So at home we sat and watched a Halloween-themed Caillou, a riveting episode where Caillou can't decide what to dress up as. A real cliffhanger. And don't even ask me what happened when costumed children rang our bell and yelled "Trick or treat!" at the top of their lungs. I guess I should have expected this. If my kids don't like people in general, they're not going to like people dressed up like other people or worse.

PS -- With no photos of my children to share, I decided this post should be accompanied by the scariest image I could find.


  1. my daughter was the exact same way when she was their age...thankfully, now 3, she has grown out of it.

  2. I can't believe Jennifer Aniston is hitting that.

  3. I think that is the scariest image I've ever seen. I just can't rip my eyes away.

    Pick a time when the girls are in a good mood, put them in their cute outifts next to some leaves or a random hay bale, and just tell them years later that they had a great time that Halloween. I'm all for restaged family memories!

  4. Oh, poor babies! They must have really not liked Halloween. Sometimes those costumes can be scary. Not as scary as forcing Mommy to stay home and watch Caillou, but you know what I mean. I'd like to say next year will be better, but it's not really until about 3 that they get excited about it. Hang in there!

  5. You're a better mom than me. My two toddlers both screamed their heads off while I crammed them into their costumes. : ) ...then we had a great time trick or treating!

  6. thanks for sharing john mayer's slingsuit. just what i needed to see...again....for like the umpteenth time. that photo is still everywhere. i think the photo is better than his music. sorry about your halloween. we had out of town family members invading my home for the holiday, and to celebrate my kiddo turning 5. trick or treating was going well. lots of candy, nice people, and great costumes. we were all so happy until the downpour. 21 people, soaked and pissed. felt so bad for everyone, but watching caillou would make me feel worse.

  7. Ugh!! This man needs a good swift kick in the ass. Who in hell likes his crappy music? WHO?

  8. I feel like I have been visually assaulted. Yuck!!

    Maybe next year your girls will be into Halloween. It took my daughter some coaxing, and she's only now getting into it.