The Crib Climber

"See what you made Mommy do???"

One of the girls has figured out how to get out of the pack and play, which they are in since we have been temporarily exiled from our home. They were excellent nappers until she discovered instead of sleeping she could jump on the bed, tear clothes out of drawers and press her face into the mesh of her sister's pack and play in a gleeful goading manner that seems to say, "I can get out and you can't -- BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I feel like I'm starring in the toddler version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off and I'm the evil principal.

Luckily (like Jennifer Grey who plays Ferris' sister) the other twin is pissed at this development and screams "Out! Out! Out!" like the good tattle-taler I always hoped to raise. (Actually, I think she's yelling that she also wants to get out and can't, but let me fantasize that she is offended by this blatant act of rule-breaking, thus the outbursts.)

I went into their room FOURTEEN times over an almost-three-hour period before she finally was too exhausted to hoist herself out. Every time I burst in the room, she would react differently. One time she pretended she was asleep on the floor. Another she put her hands over her face like she was playing peek-a-boo. Next she hid behind a chair. My favorite was when she continued jumping on the bed singing the Caillou song ("Caillou -- that's me!") as though bouncing around on a queen size bed at naptime is perfectly normal.

We move back to our house next week where plummeting a few feet onto a hardwood floor from the crib might stop this nonsense. Or it might necessitate a trip to the emergency room. So crib tents have been ordered (overnight delivery) and they will be set up before we move back. Boy, will they be pissed! Another bonus -- they can't toss their pacis out. (YES THEY ARE STILL ON A BOTTLE AND USE PACIS. SHOVE IT.)

In the meantime, I'll consider pacing back and forth to their room repeatedly my exercise.

PS -- RE: Caillou. Yes, I know you all warned me. But they had already had a taste of that little bald f#$% so it was too late. I have so many questions about Caillou. Why is that mother always so cheery -- does she not know she has two children under the age of four? Why does the grandmother look so much older than the grandfather? Does Ms. Martin have sex? Why does the mother wear the same thing every day? (I do too but I'm not on television.) Why does every adult female wear a headband? A constant stream of questions go through my head as we watch Caillou. One I'm especially not proud of: "What if that fire engine lost control and smooshed Caillou?"