Anyway, I think what I'll miss the most is this big-ass statue we pass every day on Michigan Avenue as we walk to the park. I mean, have you ever seen anything so
heinous beautiful? I don't think this statue at all reinforces the myth that the real cosmopolitan types move to NY and that only corn-fed, tooth-pickin' folksy Midwesterners live in Chicago. I used to work in the building behind this abomination before it was erected. Thank God I timed my resignation correctly! Imagine having a crappy day at work and you're greeted every day at 5 pm with the saggy butts of two 80-year-olds?
Yes, I know it's a famous painting and the Tribune did some
mind-numbing important article about its cultural significance but I'm pretty sure even the painter didn't anticipate someone would build a 12-story version of his creation, manifesting it into King Kong-esque octogenarians who at any moment might come to life and stomp innocent Chicago civilians and tourists to death. I sometimes picture Naomi Watts dangling helplessly from the old man's pitchfork while waiting for Jack Black to save her.
I will also miss the guy in the red convertible Porsche who drives around with the top down with no regard for the weather and a bumper sticker that says "Bad boys drive bad toys." I had the opportunity to be driving behind him recently and cut off a cab so I could pull up to the light next to him and conjure up the best stink eye I could muster. I think he thought I was hitting on him. Because I always bring along two toddlers when I drive around trolling for men in the city.
Farewell, I'll write again soon while
I my husband unpacks boxes.
PS -- I realize I've gone a bit strike-through-text crazy. I figured out an easy way to do it so I can't help myself. I'll get over it