Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Celebrity Jackass

You know what I haven't spent nearly enough time doing lately? I'll give you a hint -- it's really really really important. No, not exercising. No, not reading to my children. No, not seeing a shrink. ALRIGHT ALREADY. I'll tell you: I haven't spent nearly enough time making fun of celebrities. If anyone deserves to be made fun of -- even more than my husband and children -- it's the animal that is a celebrity. (Except, and I think this goes without saying, Daniel Craig.)

And not the usual suspects like Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton or John Mayer (although I DO love to mock my John Mayer)... It's more satisfying to discover that famous people you thought might be kind of normal are complete pretentious nut balls. Nothing pleases me more, frankly.

Which brings me to Julianne Moore. Seems normal, right? Might be a nice gal who if you saw her out shopping she might quietly smile in your direction acknowledging that she knows that you know who she is but she's not being all tight-assed about it. Well, my friends, did you read the interview with her in the November issue of Elle magazine? If not, let me enlighten you with a particularly insightful excerpt:

Does Moore ever worry about being overexposed? "Are you asking me about being naked? Because I don't think that's a very interesting question," she says, her easy manner turning momentarily crisp. "What I want to do in my work is explore the human condition in all its aspects ... blah blah blah..."

I tell you what, Red. When YOU are the interviewer and WE are the interviewee maybe you can decide what questions you find interesting. Until then, STFU and answer the question. And might I suggest social work or the Peace Corps if your goal is to truly "explore the human condition in all its aspects."

Listen, maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe the interviewer was getting on her nerves. Maybe she just had a fight with her husband. Or maybe she just saw a photo of herself in an unflattering dress with a giant bow on it. I suppose I could give her the benefit of the doubt. But I don't think I will. That's just not the kind of person I am. If I start giving celebrities the benefit of the doubt I might extend that courtesy to the real people in my life and next thing you know my karma will start improving, I'll start exuding goodness and then my whole personality will go out the window. And people might start to like me. I'm not comfortable with that.


  1. i like her as an actress, but she bothers me in interviews and on tv. i think she's boring. i agree with you about the dress. i don't think she is on the best dressed list that often. i think you should write a post about LiLo and all her family drama. she is also looking like a botox freak. her face won't move and her lips are huge! take care and i hope you get settled in soon.

  2. I prefer you crabby. I feel like I found my long lost sister. Except I have a sister and she irritates me. Ok, you'd be the long lost sister that I would actually like.

    And yes, you are right....celebs suck. Every last one of them. Feel free to pick on each and every one.

  3. That's a funny interview! And no, you mustn't stop making fun of them. I have convinced myself that if I give in and say the snarky things I'm thinking, the world will explode. So you have to do it for me.

  4. I like her in movies but don't see much of her in the press.
    Horrible dress.

    I vote for Lilo next!! Her mouth looks like a dead fish!

  5. when I read your last post I was thinking that you need to kick up the "bitching up about celebrities"

  6. "Give people the benefit of the doubt and they will like you."

    Nah, I just can't do it either.

  7. What about the part where she misunderstands the question? I would assume that interviewee is asking about overexposed in terms of media and movies. Really? she thinks nakedness? and even if the interviewee did mean naked, it is not an absurd question, that's why all actors have different opinions about it. Can you please start making fun of Oprah again? She has been quite ridiculous this season.

  8. I love when you rip on celebrities! More ripping on Jon Mayer, please. I just want to punch him in the face every time I see his mug on a magazine cover. Somethin' about that man that just brings out the evil in me.