I taught a class one night last week about transitioning into a public relations career. The fact I am transitioning OUT of a public relations career is, evidently, irrelevant. It's one of those things I agreed to months in advance and then when the date actually arrives I want to shoot myself or something similarly deadly for agreeing to it in the first place. I'm more likely to be excited about teaching a class about hosting a blog that only about 12 people read, one of whom is my mother and probably just because she feels obligated. But, let's face it, nobody is going to let me teach a course called "Write a Blog Nobody Reads" although I think the title alone might be intriguing to certain underachieving, self-loathing writer types.
Regardless, at the risk of generating serious envy, I'd like to share with you the financial details of my lucrative teaching endeavor:
Payment for my services: +$300
Cupcakes from upscale bakery to buy students' affection and goodwill: -$45
Cab to and from class: -$38
Manicure (one can't have credibility with one's students when one's cuticles are bloody stumps): -$15
Pedicure (who gets a manicure without a pedicure?): -$25
New lipstick to make me look professional (or like
a harlot depending on your point of view): -$16
Copies of my presentation since I am currently without a printer: -$17
Two McDonalds cheeseburgers with fries and Diet Coke (the #2 Meal Deal if you will, not Supersized but I thought about it) because I wouldn't be home for dinner and because it's what I would choose for my last meal if I were going to a death sentence which I felt I was: -$3.36
Large (venti? grande?) Starbucks skinny vanilla latte because
I was tired and the class lasted til 10 pm which is two hours past my bedtime: -$4.10
Uncle Sam's portion: -$120
PLUS, of course I needed a new outfit because I can't stand in front of a
bunch of judgmental people way younger than I looking like a fuddy duddy now can I?
So let's add a $415 JCrew expenditure to the list.
In summary, I spent $703.46 to make $300. That class cost me $403.46.
So as I keep telling my husband -- my working does in fact not pay. I,
frankly, CAN'T AFFORD to work.
PS -- Feel free to borrow this rationale if your spouse is currently hinting
you may want to consider getting a job. Get a job? Well, I'd love to!
But we simply can't afford it...