Nothing pisses me off more than fireworks. The illegal kind where dumb asses set them off with abandon in their backyard. So we get home from a Fourth of July thing and we pull into our house and there is a firework fiesta going down in the alley behind our place and our parking lot and deck are filled with debris. I say to my husband, who can be a hothead, to let me get the girls inside and he can come back outside to deal with it. But as we pull up I see the person setting off the fireworks is about 11 years old as his family sits around drinking and watching. Do you know how many kids blow their hands off with fireworks? Well neither do I but I was livid. I open the car door and start going nuts screaming, "Hey assholes! Your kid is going to blow his f@#%ing hands off AND it's ILLEGAL!" Some guy starts yelling back at me and we take the girls inside. I figure they are fully scared of me (I do The Crazy really well) and that will be the end of that. So pops start going off again and now the girls are in bed and they are being kept awake and slightly scared of this shit. I wait, peek out of our back window and see that now there are a gaggle of kids, some as young as eight, setting this crap off.
I go marching onto our deck and start hollering like some white trash hillbilly. The adults refuse to look at me so I continue screaming and point at them, demanding the fireworks stop. A woman looks at me and says, very calmly, "You didn't say please." This stumps me. She was right -- I guess I didn't say please. I march back inside and call my sister to bitch about this situation. "What are you guys doing?" I ask. "Oh, we're about to set off some fireworks for the kids. Can I call you back?" (But in my defense, they are legal where she lives...) Still, I feel like an ass.