Monday, June 8, 2009

Fish Tales

How was your weekend? Okay, enough about you. This is my blog.  So yesterday morning was fairly gloomy here in America's third most miserable city with torrential rains forecasted. I don't know about you, but to me sitting in the house all day with two toddlers is akin to being locked in a sorority house and knowing Ted Bundy is on his way. So, because of this and my strange need to intellectually stimulate my children in ways I never even stimulate myself as an adult, we took them to the Shedd Aquarium to gaze at sea otters and beluga whales and such.

I also heard they had a new toddler play zone which really just turned out to be a crowded area in which you could try on penguin costumes and slide down a "polar icecap" wearing said costume.  So, anyway, we arrive there and we bring the Baby Bjorns because the girls are vehemently opposed to their (fancy $600 -- DO I SOUND BITTER?!) stroller.  Now I know how Holly Madison feels wearing an extra 23 pounds on her chest, and I wasn't even trying to dance.

We arrive and the girls seem intrigued by the giant sea turtle and colorful fish and they're pointing and laughing and having a good ole' time.  "Good idea," I tell myself, "you are a swell mom, thinking of fun, age-appropriate, inspiring activities for your children.  Kudos to you! Someone should nominate you for mother of the year!" I continue this self-congratulatory conversation with myself for about three minutes. Which is how long it takes the girls to get bored and start whining. Relentlessly.  

So, all told, with tickets and parking and such, this outing cost us $85 which turns out to be $28.33 per minute for the time we enjoyed. And the girls got in free. Good thing they aren't three years old yet when the Shedd starts charging admission or I would have had to kick some ass. And by "some ass" I mean my husband's. Doesn't he know a dumb idea when he hears one???

Note to self: If you lived in Chicago for 11 years  before having children and didn't feel the need to visit a cultural venue, there is no need for you to expose your 18-month old twins to it.  

But my Sunday only got worse after the girls went to sleep. Read all about it.  Thank God The Bachelorette is on tonight. I feel like I just lost a tooth and the tooth fairy is on her way. Yippee!


  1. Oh man! That sounds awful! Sorry that you had such a rough time.

  2. I have to tell you that reading your blog makes my day! My daughter, who has a 9 month old, clued me in & told me how hilarious you are. I now have you on my favorites & I follow your links too. I'm a fellow reality addict (why? why? - it must be a personality disorder) plus I have family in Birmingham. Just wanted you to know I adore your blog.

  3. We have a Children's Museum here with similar costumes in the toddler room. One Sunday a month is free, which is right up my alley, considering the number of minutes before we are all seriously overstimulated and cranky. Unfortunately every other family in the Twin Cities has the same idea on the same day. So I almost think it's worth it to pay to get in to avoid the crowds. Or I could just pull out the stuffed animals and the wagon and put on a parade in the living room. It would be free, plus when the kids got cranky, I could just tell them to shut up and sit on the couch.