Monday, December 15, 2008

Why My Husband...

Isn't privy to the fact I have a blog.  One curious reader (errrr, my mom) wanted to know: "Won't H be mad if he learns you have a blog and post pictures of the girls and don't tell him about it?" First off, making my husband angry has never served as a deterrent to me.  H angry is about as terrifying as Kermit the Frog.

Also, to his credit, he doesn't stay angry long. Two minutes, tops. And if it lasts longer than that, he's easily distracted.  "Oh, look, honey!  Ann Coulter is on Hannity tonight ...Yes, she is smart. Sure, I bet that's her real hair color ... Oh, yes, she IS kind of pretty... I mean, in some lighting I bet she looks almost human..." He's a very simple sort.  (I mean, really, aren't they all?)

H is "against" blogging. H was also "against" Facebook but recently took out a profile and is now "Facebook Friends" with a woman he once slept with ... but let's save that for my therapist, shall we?  

When I mentioned I might want to start a blog, he asked, "A blog? Why? That's stupid. Who is your target audience?"  PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BASH THEIR HUSBAND'S FACES IN.  But I digress.  So, you see, he doesn't see the point of a blog.  If he knew about it, he'd read each post and ask dumb questions like "Who is John Mayer and what does he have to do with the twins?  What is a LuLu and a Moxley? Where did you come up with those ridiculous names?"  I would find all the questions boring and monotonous and it might lead to a second degree murder charge.  (I say "second degree" because I have access to a wonderful attorney here in the Windy City who would see to it I faced lesser charges after portraying me as a doting mother of twins rather than a scheming murderess.)

So if you see H and want to make him happy, tell him Alan Colmes is an ass wipe and don't mention this blog.


  1. It's quite possible that your husband and my husband are twins separated at birth. I have had many of the exact same conversations along with hefty dose of what a marriage counselor might call powerful conversations (and I would call fights) over blogging. I, sadly, was not as smart as you and told him about the blog. Silly silly me. Anyway, just starting to read your blog and really enjoy it. Thanks for making me laugh. (Oh, and as a fellow Chicagoan, the G-Rod commentary - priceless!)

  2. i wanted to start at the beginning of your blog. i liked your post about john mayer. i can't stand him. i think he is a walking cold sore. my hubby is also anti-blogging. he thinks it is pointless and just another way for me to avoid paying attention to our son. he also hates FB, but some of his friends are my friends and he does enjoy seeing current pics or reading updates. the celebrity name i wanted for my son was Stellan. i love the swedish actor. take care.