On What Planet...

Is this handsome?

I'm less offended that G-Rod tried to sell Obama's Senate seat than I am that the Associated Press called him "handsome."  His hair alone disqualifies him. Is that lump in the middle just layers of hair or is there a small creature perched inside there (Mayor Daley, perhaps?)  I venture to say that even Brad Pitt wouldn't be "handsome" sporting above cut. I would superimpose G-Rod's 'do atop Brad Pitt's head to prove my point if I were a more technical savvy blogger. But I'm not so let me give you a minute to conjure up the image ...  Nope, still not handsome.  And while that tough-ass Fitzgerald (is he sexy in a prosecutorial kind of way or is it me?) throws people in the slammer, let's toss in the architect of this monstrosity of a cut. Anyone know G-Rod's stylist so I can (personally, in person) leak the name to Patrick? (I like to think, if we met, he'd ask me to call him Patrick.)

And speaking of Brad Pitt, how does one go from BRAD PITT to VINCE VAUGHN to john mayer.  (I am using capitalization to reflect my opinion on Jennifer Aniston's various bedmates. Keep up here. Need I explain everything to you???)  I mean, the guy looks like a well-intentioned Frankenstein experiment gone awry. For the love of God, there are CHILDREN (presumably) who see this monster in broad daylight. Do nightmares not ensue, one wonders?  It makes me thankful to live in Chicago where this creature probably rarely ventures:

And he dated jessica simpson and jennifer love hewitt.  Does JENNIFER ANISTON not understand the importance of tiers in Hollywood??  Must some lowly SAHM in the Midwest explain to her that you stay within your tier or risk losing it forever? Sheesh, everyone knows that.  Next thing you know she'll be starring in a Lifetime movie and swapping spit with David Spade.  And speaking of Jen, has her publicist left the country??  Do they not have e-mail or at least facsimile where he went?  Someone needs to put a clamp down on her incessant running at the mouth about Angie and Brad. By golly, drink a margarita with Courteney and David in Cabo and give it a rest already.

Well my first post and I couldn't think of one  interesting thing to say about my kids.  If you want to listen to some SAHM prattle on about what color her kids' poop is today (oddly enough, blue) then perhaps you better kick it on down the road to another blog.