Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Store Was Out of Yogurt Melts

And I have the photo to prove it. Why? Because every once in a great while, when I am ever-so-busy documenting the absurdity that is John Mayer, my husband is forced to do the grocery shopping. Last time this happened he came home without Yo Baby Yogurt and I basically, without saying it directly, called him a liar. "I go to the grocery store THREE TIMES EVERY WEEK and they have NEVER been out of Yo Baby Yogurt ... hmm." In other words, you forgot and I know you forgot and now you know that I know you forgot but you instead chose to lie.

He insisted he didn't forget, but in fact Jewel had absolutely no Yo Baby to sell. Are you buying that? Because I wasn't. So today, I sent him to Jewel with the mandate to buy Yogurt Melts which were imperative for a smooth flight to Alabama for Christmas. He came home, threw the groceries on the counter, announced they "didn't have any goddamn Yogurt Melts" and showed me this photo on his iPhone to prove it.

Which begs the question, am I such a terrifying person that one must interrupt one's grocery shopping to take a photo of a barren shelf to prove one isn't lying about the unavailability of a certain product? Apparently, yes.

Maybe, just maybe, this is Jewel's fault. For offering this divine treat for merely $5 for two bags. Yogurt-Melt-loving toddlers and their thrifty mothers everywhere must be thrilled. I am, however, not thrilled, as I have to go on a Yogurt Melt hunt before we leave. Who is purchasing $2.50 tiny bags of sugar, glue and food coloring for their toddlers in mass quantities anyway? You could probably make that in your meth lab at home. Besides, I thought we were in a recession. Sigh.


  1. wow! that is something i should do to prove my hubs wrong. he never believes me when i tell him his precious "muscle milk" is out of stock. i will remember to snap pix next time. i hope you do find your melts. i remember those horrible toddler trips and having to scramble to find his favorites snacks. have a safe trip and a wonderful holiday.

  2. I let my little guy eat a bunch of those damn things on the road one time & he promptly ralphed them up all over himself & his carseat. I still hate those stupid things. Fortunately, we're moved on to Cheerios & Goldfish cookies for travel snacks.

  3. Funny!! Girl, you should write for "the onion" !