Let's Get Physical?
My daughter either plans to single-handedly bring back the early 80s by channeling Olivia Newton-John:
Or she's trying to subtly suggest that her mother should begin working out again. While neither is a particularly attractive option, I fear it's the latter. I made the grave mistake of looking at my bare ass in the mirror the other day. Why I have no idea. I think there's a reason God puts our asses back there where we can't readily see them: to keep middle aged women from viewing their own asses and subsequently ending their own lives.
Up until recently, I didn't have a real hand-held mirror. If I for some reason needed to see the back of my head or similar I used my compact. But that broke recently and I got the crazy idea to buy one of those big hand-held jobbers with one side that hugely magnifies every imperfection. My imperfections are best kept in real size, if not minimized, but certainly not maximized.
So anyway, it suddenly occurred to me after stepping out of the shower that I haven't gotten a good gander at my backside in quite some time. HOLYMOTHEROFGOD. I'd make a reference here to cottage cheese except I see no reason to insult an entire industry that really has done nothing bad to me personally.
I used to have a fairly consistent routine of going to spin class several times per week. But when my house flooded and we moved downtown for a spell I seemed to reason that my gym was too far away (errrr, 15 minutes instead of 5) and simply never went back. That was in August. I'm not sayin' my ass was great before, but if I knew in six short months it would turn into that monstrosity in the mirror, I might have kept going.
People, this is a long-winded way of saying that I am going to start working out again. Soon.
And here's the most depressing part. It's not like I have a bunch of weight to lose. If I could delude myself into thinking, "Well, after losing 15 pounds my ass will look like Jennifer Aniston's ass" that would be most satisfactory. Unfortunately, if I lost 15 pounds my ass would probably still look like my ass only slightly smaller. Like maybe if you had a bowl of cottage cheese and ate some of it.
No, my condition is much more dire and incurable: I'm old.
PS -- If "Let's Get Physical" isn't the world's most embarrassing video ever created, do regale me with what is.